Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I want to have your abortion
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
