worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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