arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Swine flu is the new snow day.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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