Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
You can't special order awesome
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
