For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
