so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
