I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
