And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
