I don't usually arrange sex via text message
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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