I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
