just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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