I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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