Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
