so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
