Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
