Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
