After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
