I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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