glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
