Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
