the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
do herpes really smell.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
