My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
