If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
