is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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