you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
