oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
