You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
