True but thats because hes a fetus.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
