bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
we're making bets on your personal life
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
