Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
