Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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