I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
