I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
