im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
