Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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