Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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