god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
