Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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