If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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