you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
