worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
