This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
