My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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