that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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