wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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