i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
is this the sara with the beer cane?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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