it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
