your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
if only i could text you this smell
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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