Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
