I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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