I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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