it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
My vagina is very pro this idea
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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