Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
