So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
